This week’s blog has nothing to do with money, your business, or rockin’ your bad ass entrepreneurship self.  This week I don’t have the bandwidth or brainpower to summon any words of wisdom (or reflective ramblings) to help you take things to the next level, grow, and learn, or develop new habits.  I’ve had a week and I’m calling a TIME OUT. 

Now this might be TMI, but honestly, I don’t care.  I WISH I had been prepared for the shit-show-tsunami that Menopause has been in my life.  As a society, we just don’t talk about it enough and we as women suffer and fear in silence about what the hell is going on in our bodies. So, here’s me shouting from the rooftops: 

MENOPAUSE SUCKS - YOU’RE NOT CRAZY – AND WE SHOULDN’T HAVE TO LIVE LIKE THIS 

Why am I throwing a fit today? Well, honestly, it’s because I’m exhausted.  I spent Friday and Monday night with my blood pressure through the roof, feeling like I was having a stroke or heart attack.  Knowing that it was a hormone spike, yet terrified that one time I’m going to brush it off and it’s going to be a real stroke or heart attack.  I’ve laid awake for the past 5 nights with what feels like an anvil on my chest, terrified that if I close my eyes, I won’t wake up.  It’s awful. And exhausting. 

But what I REALLY want to share is that when this first started happening 2 years ago, every doctor I saw made me feel like I was crazy.  Like I was some melodramatic, hypochondriac looking for attention (if you know me, you know that “attention” is the LAST thing I want!). They brushed me off as stressed and having panic attacks – and yes, I do carry a lot of stress, but I know what a panic attack is and sorry, no, this wasn’t that. 

My brain was in a fog. I couldn’t function as I had in the past. My body felt “ugh” all the time. And yes, I constantly felt like there was an anvil on my chest, and I slept sitting up for well over a year.  When the “heart attack” feelings started happening, that’s when I’d had enough.  Being told over and over again that there was nothing wrong with me when CLEARLY (to me) I was not OK, well, it kinda made me snap. 

Ladies – don’t be made to feel like you’re crazy.  I searched high and low for a doctor who would listen to me and acknowledge that what was happening was real.  Since finding her, I’ve never felt better, and I was celebrating being in the clear with all the BS behind me. 

Until Friday, when I had a relapse and ended up back in Urgent Care getting all the tests and scans.  As before, “nothing” was wrong, which is of course wonderful, but in the same breath, incredibly frustrating that it’s back.  It’s like every Friday the 13th or Nightmare on Elm St movie…didn’t this thing get killed off in the last movie?? How is it back??  Well, my Freddie Kruger came back with a vengeance, and the result: exhausted, afraid, and making you sit through this rambling soliloquy and cautionary tale. 

Anyways, this is a very long, and public way to say “I’m not writing a post today”; and now you know why.  It’s important to take care of yourself and this is my way of doing just that.  I’ll be back next week with more “real” business advice but until then I’m going to nap and recover. Thanks for understanding <3